I hate Twilight, and still gave it $9…
November 22, 2008, 8:01 am
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A few months ago, a couple of friends told me “If you can read Twilight, put it down and say ‘I don’t want to read the rest’ we’ll never bring it up to you again.”

My mistake was admitting that while the writing was horrible, childish, predictable and corny, I enjoyed it.  So I read some more, up to the third book.  And boy was that a CHORE.

I hate Twilight.  I hate it more than any book I think I have ever read, and most of all- I hate it’s fans. Thirteen year old girls who wish for nothing more than true love, who lack imagination and also love High School Musical.  The worst part about these people is how much they hate you for not loving Twilight.

There are so many things wrong with these books.  The giant plot holes (I mean really, how does a vampire get someone pregnant?) the lack of character development, the unimaginite dialogue (It was raining in Forks, mirroring my sad emotions, because it was rainy and I am sad because Forks is rainy, and it is raining.) the horrible “morals” and it’s money-grubbing author.

Bella is no heroine at all.  She is a whiney, angsty girl who is willing to throw away her entire family for a boy.  What are we teaching our youth?  That we should really give everything to be with the one you love, who you fell in love with in like.. a week?  He takes her out to dinner once, and BAM soul mates?  I mean, I love my husband more than life itsself but I wasn’t sure about us for months.  At 17, there is no doubt in my mind that Bella could have been positive abotu Edward.  At that point it’s just infatuation, and how awful for Stephanie Meyer to be telling these young, impressionable girls that love comes so easily.  It doesn’t, and not at 17.

Then comes Edward, who is just the most perfect boy on Earth.  Psssht. He’s a pompous tool who thinks he’s hot shit.  He’s your stereotypical pretty boy, who has no flaws.  Except that HE DOES.  Put yourself in Bella’s position, right after you find out the boy you’re crushing on is a horribel monster, you find out he’s been climbing in through your window and watching you sleep since you first moves.  Not to mention, she’s totally cool with it.  I don’t think so!  That’s a stalkerish behavior, and it’s disgusting.  Let’s not forget that as the books progress, he controls Bella’s every move, keeping her from seeing the only friend she had when HE abandoned her.  He’s an overbearing, emotionally abusive, controlling man with a bad temper.  If I knew him, I would hate him.  if you knew him, you would hate him- and you cannot tell me otherwise.  People like that in the real world beat their wives and rape women.

Stephanie Meyer is an amature author who is reaping millions from a fluke.  She’s also throwing her own Mormon objectives into the mix, even if she isn’t trying.  Saving yourself for marriage, only to get married right out of high school.  Yeah, that’s smart.  Only 1/3 of teen marriages last longer than two years.  While I haven’t read the 4th book (and have no plans to) the fact that Bella refuses to end a pregnancy even though it will probably kill her is ridiculous.  If Edward really cared about her, they would have made that decision.  But the while pregnancy plot just blows me away with it’s sheer stupidity.

Oh, and that whole plan to write Twilight from Edward’s point of view is malarky.  More money grubbing from our wonderful author, determined to make herself the next J. K. Rowling.  But here’s the difference- J. K. has TALENT.  I’m sure she is enjoying the millions she makes, but she’s earned it.  The fact that people can say Stephanie is better than he is so wrong, and they need to shut it.  Rowling doesn’t need to put herself in the Harry Potter movies, Rowling doesn’t need to blog about every chapter of her book and put playlists to it.  And I’m sure Rowling doesn’t listen to crappy banks like Linkin Park and Muse- who are really just Radiohead copycats.  Hmm, sound familiar?

The movie, which for some reason I still spent money on, was awful.  Ripped from the book word for word, it was quite possibly the worst two hours I have wasted lately.  The dialogue was painful, the acting was grotesque, and the CGI was… not that bad.  The audience was painfully difficult to endure, and the trailer weren’t even that great.

I will give Twilight one Kudos- I cannot even imagine how many chores got done this week so kiddies could see Twilight and have sleepovers.  Kudos to the parents for sitting through the movie, too.  Maybe they will see what rubbish their kids are enjoying, and set them on a path to good young adult books.  I grew up reading The Babysitter’s Club, and I like to think I turned out okay.  🙂